Friday, October 28, 2011
Home
A child is walking into a dreary old bank building with his mother. Always begrudging about having to go on these long errands. Drab boringness starts to fill his small being. But wait, what does he see on the counter? A LOLLYPOP! overflowing with joy he runs over and takes one. As he eats it sweetness begins to fill his taste-buds as all the monotony is forgotten. This lollypop is to him like home is to me. It is a retreat from the rest of the world. When working hard to achieve success drains my energy there is always that thought in the back of my mind. The fact that when vacation rolls around I can go back to that loving community and let the troubles of the world just slip away. Home is like a lollypop, not a bank.
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I really like your word choice throughout all of your writing. This piece especially gives your readers a strong visual picture. The image of the lollipop hold throughout and even comes back at the end to tie up the string of sentences. Maybe adding a phrase in the second to last sentence about the sweetness of that return home would make for a more fluid conclusion.
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